am i a bad diabetic?

i havent actually eaten this recently....

I've got a confession to make.... the last few days i haven't been doing things as i should, i haven't been taking my injections when i eat and haven't been calculating the carbs properly for meals.......

i know its bad, i don't need lectures, but there are times when life takes hold and diabetes takes a back seat. I'm in the middle of the oh so wonderful exam period at the moment and with revising (9 a-level exams is a lot to revise for), comes snacking.... its surprising how much you can eat just through snacks.... but then as I'm snacking theres no fixed time to take the insulin to cover what I'm eating and theres no set times for sugar checks..... normally i do both before meals and often test again after the meal.

then theres the actual exams themselves, stress does strange things to my body and sometimes i go low, sometimes high and other times i stay fine.... so to try and prevent the sugar swings i test, test and test again and then adjust and correct with sugar and insulin.... I've got through soooo many test strips with the exams alone and my fingers are starting to rebel against all the stabbing for blood :/

but back to what I've been doing wrong..... all this snacking and guessing insulin doses has actually meant quite a few blood sugar swings going from high to low meaning that i cant concentrate properly to do the revision. i can hear what people are thinking, 'why don't you just do things properly then?' but its not that simple, when I'm revising with friends, they can quite easily work through lunch without a care in the world, they might be a bit hungry but it doesn't matter... if i work through lunch its a different matter, it means that my sugar levels will drop too low and mean i HAVE to stop what I'm doing which isn't good.... so instead i sit and eat my lunch over the course of a couple of hours (while i revise) and inject for it somewhere in the middle when my sugars start going up... it doesn't work though and my levels still go up before plummeting :/

sometimes i just wanna act like everyone else and feel 'normal' and forget about diabetes while i carry on with my life and sort out my future, but then, it doesn't work that way, i have to remember that my diabetes needs to be looked after, it likes having a set routine and things to be done properly... a bit like a small child really.... and when things aren't done the way that they should be, diabetes throws tantrums, it makes my levels weird and makes me feel rubbish.....

i think I've learnt my lesson this time, i think that from now on I'm going to try really hard to keep doing things the way they should be done.... i know i will slip up from time to time but i need to do this, i need to make sure that i do everything possible to prevent all those future complications which will restrict my life even more than diabetes does.... 

so heres to being a good diabetic :D