2 years

today marks 2 whole years of being diagnosed with diabetes. that's double the time that i had lived with it this time last year. that's 2yrs of struggling, fighting, tears, stabbing of fingers, worrying about complications of high blood sugars and most of all that's 2yrs of growing up faster than i should have done.
But its not all bad, I've had 2yrs of being more conscious of my health, being part of an online community which is like a second family to me and being able to stand up and fight what i believe is right.

its been a tough 2yrs, i wrote down my diagnosis story here if you would like to read it :)

if i could go back and talk to the me of 2yrs ago what would i say? how would i tell her about all the stuff that was coming her way? how would i reassure her that it will all be ok?

how would i tell her that within a few short months she would be battling against the health system and professionals just to get them to listen and take her seriously? make them believe that shes not making things up?

but also, how would i tell her just how far she will get? how will i tell her that she achieves so much more than what people expected? how would i say that she has become a stronger person who has been able to get through so much and keep going?

Dear the 16yr old me....

Hey :D 

just thought i would write you a quick letter. one to explain to you how the next few years will look. i know your gunna think this is a joke and that what I'm saying is wrong, but please believe me, i know what I'm saying.

so you know that nurse visit you have today? she is gunna tell you something that will change your life forever. she will tell you that you have diabetes. don't be scared though, things will be ok.

you will see doctors who tell you that you have type 2, they will give you a meter and tablets to sort things. you will have an amazing dsn for the first few months before things start to go slightly wonky. you will have meds but they will only work for a while. you see, you don't fit into the usual t2 category.

for the first year things will be tough, your levels will get higher and higher before you finally manage to convince the consultant to give you insulin and while you watch your glucose levels go up, you will watch your grades fall, disappointment will be all you can see in your teachers eyes as they tell you that you could be doing so much better than you are. keep strong though, its not the end of the world

things will get better for a while. you will start to see improvements in your sugar levels. this is when it gets tough. and i mean really tough. denial sets in, the stresses of life take over and diabetes isn't quite at the front of your mind. hypos take the place of the highs you have been seeing for so long. you will want to give up, you will want to do things to make everything stop so you don't need to deal with it anymore. but keep going. you will meet some amazing people along the way. people who will make it worthwhile getting up in the morning for. 

 you will get yourself into uni, you will pass your driving test and most importantly you will become so much more confident in yourself. you will get there. it will be hard, harder for you than it is for most. but remember, you will manage. never give up, every battle you fight will be worth fighting for in the end. you will be so much stronger than you are right now. 

just keep at it. take things one day at a time. keep those around you close and try not to let the walls you build for protection stop you from getting the help you need. tears are just as good for you as the laughs, and trust me, there will be plenty of both.

love

Me, well you.... us? (you know what i mean)

p.s  "keep warm smiles in case of rainy days"