yet another 6 test strips....

there are times that i look at my life with diabetes and all that happens with it. i look at the day to day happenings and wonder how i got to where i am.

how did i get to the point where mutilated finger tips didn't bother me anymore?
how did i get to the point where needles and strips lying around was normal?
how did i get to the point where a load of numbers can affect how i think of myself?

i guess i wont ever really know. it just kind of happened. the normality of diabetes just crept up and took over my brain when i wasn't looking.... bit like the moment my pancreas decided to stop working properly i guess.....

but there are times i think about it. times when i collect yet another prescription or book yet another blood test or appointment with the dsn. times when i look at the pile of strips left from that days tests and know that each one of those tiny pieces of plastic represents a number which my day was made of.

times like this really make me think. i mean, when i pick up that prescription after 2weeks since the last one and i think..... that's 200 stabs of the finger. 200 different numbers which fit together to make part of my day..... that's another 5 cartridges of insulin which contain 1500u. that's another 1500u that I've taken to keep my sugar levels in check (or not so in check as they've been recently).

that's a tough thing to think. its tough thinking how much things have changed and how quickly time moves. how fast you learn to adapt to a new way of life. but that's just it. things change constantly and we adapt. its the way life is and nothing is going to stop that.

so we live and learn.... things change and we just bump along with the waves doing what we need to do to get by.