since i was diagnosed just over 2yrs ago i have tried my hardest to never let my reason for not doing something, be diabetes.
i have never let myself stay home from work or college/uni if my levels are all over the place or if i had a hypo in the night and didn't sleep much, i rarely stop for long to treat high/low sugars and if I'm at work ill often be eating to bring my levels up while doing another job or carrying on with assignments. ill go to parties whether I'm exhausted or not and whether my levels are high/low or not. ill fit doctors appointments around my life so that i don't need to miss out on stuff, and ill always play down just how bad diabetes makes me feel.
quite simply i love to prove that diabetes doesn't make me different to anyone else.
but sometimes i need to realise that i cant be just like everyone else, that i do have more things to think about or take care of. sometimes i do need to stop and take a break when diabetes becomes a pain and makes me feel rubbish. sometimes i need those doctors appointments even if the only one available is at the most inconvenient time. i need to realise that i cant skip injections or sugar checks just cos i don't wanna do it in front of the people I'm with, and when I'm completely exhausted i need to realise that i should cancel any plans I've made and just rest, because if i don't it just makes me feel even worse.... after all, there will always be a next time to see friends, there will be other nights to go out...
recently I've started to see that i push myself far too much. my body doesn't like it. I'm totally knackered 24/7 whether i sleep all night or not. my levels are all over the place where I'm not paying enough attention to diabetes and I'm generally finding things way harder to cope with.
i need to take all of this way more seriously, i need to stop and listen to what my body is telling me. sometimes i need to just be a person who has a chronic illness, not one who is totally fine because i know that if i do this much longer i will end up regretting my decisions....
Ive been waiting for you to realise that for weeks, I am so proud of you, you have gone through so much, yet you would always be there for your fellows diabetics if they needed your support and advice. It is time to put yourself and your health first. Bless you X
ReplyDeleteyeah i know, ill get there eventually with it all.... im always gunna be there for everyone else, even if it kills me, but yes, i do need to put myself first a bit more xx
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