changing the perspective

life is about perspective, which things you focus on will mean the difference between being happy or not...

this morning i saw the dsn to get a few blood test results and change a few bits on my prescription.... nothing drastic

they were running late (as per usual) so that wasn't ideal as i was having to miss lectures to see her... 

then it started going wrong.... to start, she did my blood pressure.... now, considering that just going to the docs stresses me out, I've got a lot of things going on in my personal life that are stressing me out as well as uni, i wasn't surprised to see the result of it being high.... even after 3 different readings it was still waay above what it should be..... 

next she went through my blood results, cholesterol came back normal (yaay!) and the hba1c was 6.7% which although it is good.... i know that for me that represents a lot of highs (i was diagnosed with a a1c of 6.5%) but the thing she worried about most was that i might be hypoing? baring in mind I've only had a few hypos in the last few months where I've been skipping injections etc i was a tad confused..... 

then it all just got worse..... 

basically since last year I've not had a huge amount of hypo awareness, at night i wont feel hypos till i hit the 1's or 2's and during the day i don't really feel them till I'm in the 2's.... now, that's a big problem when it comes to driving.... to be able to keep your license you have to have good hypo awareness otherwise you're considered a danger on the roads (understandable) so after hearing that i don't feel hypos too well, my dsn has given me a warning that i may lose my license... warned me that she should be advising that I'm not meant to drive at all. I need my car, it plays a big part of my life.... if i lose my license then I'm gunna struggle big time. 

i came away from my appointment upset, fed up, hating diabetes for the problems it causes.... i came away focusing on all the negatives. 

but then that's when perspective comes into it.... you could say I've had a bad appointment because of the bad things that i had said to me.... or you could say that it was a good appointment because i had good blood results, i sorted some things out, i finally opened up to a health care professional that I'm struggling big time. 

perspective plays a big part in determining mood, so now instead of focusing on the negatives I'm gunna focus on those positive bits that will hopefully keep me going....