labels

being labelled sucks. it really sucks.... but when you're labelled by a medical professional, it sucks even more. they are the people that are meant to know best, meant to believe what you say to them and help you sort it...

for a long time before getting a proper diagnosis i had loads of labels attached to my name by the professionals because of things i said to them or asked for. 

i was the fat one who brought diabetes onto themselves 

simply because i need to lose some weight

i was a liar

because i said about side effects that the tablets were giving me - ones that don't normally happen

i was uncooperative

because i said id had enough of trying different tablets with their different side effects and strict regimes

i was over dramatic

when i said that if i didn't go onto insulin to sort the high levels i would have to drop out of college - the constant highs meant my grades dropped low as i couldn't concentrate

i was the girl who 'wanted to inject'

because id had enough of constant high levels that tablets couldn't control - to me injecting 100 times a day would be better than the way things were

i was the one who 'should just accept my diagnosis' 

because i fought for genetic testing as i knew i wasn't type 2

i was the one who caused problems 

because i insisted on having things done in a way i wanted, to control diabetes in a suitable way

i was the over exaggerator 

because my log books showed loads of highs in the teens and twenties but my hba1c never went above 7.5% as my morning levels are always fine so lower it

i was the one who made things up

because i said my pancreas works some times and not others.... apparently this cant happen.... (to my consultant.... have you experienced a day in my shoes?!) 

it was really tough getting to a proper diagnosis. I'm not the kind of person to be bothered by labels.... of course they hurt, but i knew they weren't true, i knew i was doing the right thing by pushing for what i wanted. 

and I'm glad i did. I've got a proper diagnosis now. I've got a new consultant now who seems amazing (only met him once) I've got a new dsn now who is amazingly supportive and has helped so much in the few appointments I've had with her... 

sometimes you just need to push past what people think about you and focus on what you know is true. i fought these battles alone, it was hard and lots of tears were shed, but ultimately it was worth it.