lost

ok. so recently i have been running high almost constantly. i mean. i start off with normal numbers and then as soon as I've eaten (whether i take insulin or not) i end up sitting in the mid teens for the rest of the day unless i literally take a huge dose of insulin then i come back down.....

i don't know whats going on or whats causing it. its a complete mystery. and its completely unusual for me to be like this for this long. it could be stress, or dodgy insulin or illness or miscalculating insulin and carbs or just about anything else. or maybe all of the above... its completely possible.

I've never realised just how bad my diabetes care and education has been though until this week. I've always been quite comfortable thinking i understood what i needed to do if i needed to change anything (although, Ive come to realise, i didn't understand, it was just that i didn't need to really do much before now to affect my levels dramatically and sort any blips)

but then this week I've looked at what I'm dealing with.....

• high levels through the day.
• rapid on a ratio 1u:8g.
• correction factor of about 1u per 2.5mmols.
• levemir of 10u per day taken at night.
• lowish levels first thing in the morning.

to any person without diabetes that is a load of absolute rubbish.... i mean, that's a fair amount of random stuff really unless you know what I'm going on about. but i looked at that and was confused too.... i mean. where do i start making adjustments? what do i adjust them to? and will it work?

being in the middle of transitioning from one d team to another also means that i don't actually have anyone to get advise off of at the moment. I'm seeing a dsn on Thursday, but does that mean i have to deal with this for another week before i actually get anything sorted? I'm not sure if i can do this for that long. its wearing me out.

also. the longer that I'm running high, the more my body is getting used to it. the more my body gets used to the highs, the more i feel hypo at normal levels. that isn't good. not at all..... today i had to drive somewhere and my levels were 5.6 when i left. i felt shaky though so had a couple of glucose tabs to sort it... by the time i got there i was having full blown hypo symptoms (shaking badly, brain fogginess, hunger) so i checked again.... 5.2? i was so confused by this.... but i just treated it as a low with half a bottle of normal coke... i figured i would rather be high and feel normal than be normal and feel low....

this is the thing with diabetes, when what you do works, all is good. you feel smart for sorting it. then it changes and your left in the midst of confusion and random blood sugars trying to figure out which way to turn next. and that's where i am. I'm lost and don't know what to do now...