its all in the numbers

its funny, before life with diabetes i didn't think that numbers could have such an impact on my everyday life. since then however numbers rule everything i do and are often all i think about.... 

• the numbers on my meter tell me if I'm too high or low to do something like driving or exercising (have to be over 5mmols to drive and under 14mmols to exercise) 
• the numbers on food packets tell me how many carbs are in the food that I'm eating (although they never tell you straight away so you have to figure it out, and if the packets don't tell you then you have to guess or remember from last time how much is in the food) 
• my insulin to carb ratio then tells me how much insulin i need to take to cover the food I'm about to eat (yeah that needs to be calculated too) 
• on top of figuring out how much i need to cover food, i need to add on or knock off units (measure of insulin) depending on whether my sugar levels are high or low and whether I've got insulin in my system already (insulin on board)
• then there's the hba1c which is my average glucose levels over the last 3 months, on top of that theres cholesterol levels and other tests which all need to stay within different ranges to keep the consultant happy and me healthy

i must admit, I'm glad that i don't mind numbers and can do the calculations cos my life would be a lot harder if i couldn't..... but as you can see, as a diabetic numbers do rule your life and your always second guessing what is going to happen so that those numbers have as little impact as possible.

things i hate :(

its been one of those days.... been chasing high sugars, get them back down then they jump back up so here is a list of 8 things that i hate about living with diabetes.

1. how ugly it is, i am covered in bruises from injecting and my fingers are full of holes from testing my sugar levels. it might not seem that bad but its a constant reminder of having diabetes, and lets be honest, bruises on your stomach, thighs and arms don't look good in summer when you in shorts and stuff
2.  the high and low sugar levels - the way these make you feel isn't nice, unless you are diabetic yourself you will never fully appreciate how a high or low sugar level makes you feel. shaking and looking drunk when your low and then drinking loads and being tired and grumpy when high isn't fun in the slightest and makes you want to hide under a duvet rather than face the world like everything is ok.
3. the ignorance of the public. this covers a lot of stuff, from the silly questions of whether I've got the 'good' or 'bad' kind to people thinking that I've got diabetes because i ate too many sweets when i was little. my fave comment so far is 'i couldn't inject every day' i mean, i didn't think i could either but when it comes to staying healthy and keeping my limbs and sight i think ill take the injections. its frustrating enough to deal with the diabetes without dealing with these comments too.
4. the nasty looks i get for injecting in public - i think what annoys me most about this is that nobody objects to an asthmatic using an inhaler or a parent giving their child calpol but because insulin is injected people look at you like your a druggie, its not needed or wanted. i shouldn't feel like i need to hide to take medication which keeps me healthy. if you don't like seeing it then don't watch, simple as that.
5. night hypos - there's nothing worse than having to wake up in the middle of the night shaking, sweating and stumbling everywhere while you work on getting your sugar levels back up to normal range.... it might seem cool to have an excuse for a midnight snack but its really not, i would much rather stay asleep and not eat. plus when you have to be back up early the next morning its not nice to wake up to high sugar levels and feeling extra tired because you've been up in the night, over corrected the hypo and now have to deal with the high. 
6. when the pharmacy doesn't have what you need - think this is pretty self explanatory but i really do hate having to make 2 trips to the pharmacy to collect all the needles, test strips, insulin and anything else i need. 
7. having blood tests- i know I'm diabetic and stab fingers and inject every day, but having a blood test is very different. for a start its a much bigger needle and  I'm not in control of it. plus the fact that it means visiting the docs and having to fast for 12hrs....
8. seeing the consultant every 6 months - not everyone has such an idiotic consultant as i do and I'm pleased for anyone who has decent care, but for me going and seeing him is torture, he comes in and tells me that everything is down to my diet and other silly comments which really wind me up... at the end of the day he has no idea what I'm going through so cant say that I'm lying etc (i do know he is the professional, but he does need to learn to listen to people rather than just dismiss what they are saying)

 i know that this is a really long post but on days like today i really do miss the simple life from before i was diagnosed...... what do you hate about diabetes or looking after someone with diabetes

Its the little things in life.....

I find that its always the little things in life that make moments or days special. It's hearing the birds in the morning and seeing the sun shining in the window which mean I start my day with a smile, it's seeing a good blood sugar after a meal and knowing I've calculated my insulin correctly. It's going to collect my prescription and they actually have everything there for me so I don't have to make a second trip :)

Ive learnt that when your dealing with something like diabetes on a daily basis its the small things that really do make the biggest difference. whether it be waking up after a hypo free night, not having any high or low blood sugars or even just not hearing or seeing any bad reactions to injecting insulin in public it means the world to the person dealing with it. 

Today my little thing was just having stable enough blood sugars to revise for exams all day, this is the first day this has happened and it was lovely to feel normal and be able to concentrate on what i was doing. I wasn't drinking pints of water or having to eat to bring my levels back up. things like this people take for granted, but for me it meant everything <3

The Beginning

Dear diabetes .... so I've been living with you now for almost 2yrs. I was 16 when you turned my life upside down and decided to play havoc with my body making me tired and thirsty and ill. this wasn't what I wanted to hear just a week before starting college. 
I've been on the pills, they made me ill and didn't help and now I inject to keep your nasty habit of raising my sugar levels at bay..... I've had my fair share of fights with the consultant about my treatment options cos they think I'm type 2, I think differently. You never have played the same way that other type 2's diabetes does. now I'm putting you under the microscope and am getting tested for MODY (maturity onset diabetes of the young) to see whether my genes caused you to come and stay. 
Still, I have good days and bad ones too. the days that I keep my levels within range all day and feel great keep me going and even when the highs and lows you cause make me want to quit there's always going to be that bit of me that will keep on going.
I will never give fighting you for good. This is one battle you will never win, when that cure comes I will be the one laughing instead of you!

My First Post

Hiya :)

been meaning to create a blog for a while so here it is :) this is going to be my page of random ramblings of my life with diabetes..... hope you like it :D