diabetes awareness month - dear diabetes

i know i didn't post yesterday.... was having a bad day, so heres toady's one instead.... the prompt was 'a letter to your health' so that's what I've done

dear diabetes.

why do you play so many games? I've had it with all of them. the highs, the lows, the making me feel different to everyone else.

why cant you just play fair for one day? this constant struggle is starting to get to me. screw that. it HAS got to me, it gets to me every. single. day. i try not to show it to others, but it really does. your usually the only thing that has the power to reduce me to tears in a matter of seconds. your the only thing that can ruin my entire day without even trying. you suck.

I'm exhausted. the hypo card that you played the other night wasn't fair. i need my sleep and you didn't care. I'm still tired from that, i don't have the time to catch up on sleep. and then you give me high levels and it just makes me even worse. sometimes i physically cant keep my eyes open I'm so tired.

and you make me worry. i worry endlessly about whats happening to my body, whether I'm ok to drive or eat something, whether I'm going to be able to concentrate through an afternoon, whether i have enough supplies and when my next doctors appointment is. i cant take much more of it.

you take so much effort to deal with every day. this whole checking sugar levels, the counting carbs, the working out insulin doses, the pretending that everythings fine when it really isn't. it takes effort and i don't know how much longer i can last.

you know, i really hate the way you make me stick out, the way that you make me so incredibly different to everyone else, the way that you make people perceive me. i hated how you made me feel ashamed of being diabetic when i went to visit a friend last weekend just because i had to have insulin. i hate how i have to have so many doctors appointments to sort you, appointments that no one else has to make, the ones that i have to fit around uni and take up a huge amount of time. i hate how i have to inject at dinner time meaning I'm often one of the last to finish eating. its no fun you know.

so basically I've had enough. i need a break, a break that I'm not going to get because your here to stay. but please, just play a little more fair, let me know whats going on with some warning..... who am i kidding, i know you wont so theres no point asking.

anyway. just to sum up, i really do hate you and your games but theres not much i can do.
so yeah,
see you around..