diabetes is a scary disease. it can lull you into a false sense of security with good blood readings and make you feel like you are finally getting somewhere. then it strikes. it suddenly throws out random high and low readings which make you confused, they make you question yourself and your decisions. you begin to wonder whats happened... did i miscalculate my insulin? is this a dodgy insulin cartridge? have i remembered to calculate all the carbs in my meal?.... the list goes on and on.
now its one thing being in an environment you know, with people who are aware of you being diabetic and of what to do in emergencies. but then its completely different doing that in a strange environment, with new people. people who wont know what to do.
it really scares me that I'm going to uni on my own next month. I'm going to have to teach people about diabetes. about what to do if i go really really low. how to spot the symptoms of a hypo. but then what if they don't want to know? what if they just don't get it? what if they just cant deal with diabetes and the shit that comes with it? that worries me.
maybe I'm being stupid, maybe I'm worrying about nothing and the people i meet are really nice and want to know all about it. but its just another thought, another thing that I'm losing sleep thinking about. yet another thing that diabetes does to make me feel different.
I'm so excited about uni and all the new things it means i get to do, but then diabetes sits there just tinting the good times with hints of bad just so i cant forget. so i cant be carefree like a student should be. but i guess i will just wait and see, i will just get there and deal with it as it arrives and enjoy what i can as much as i can without diabetes ruining things...
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